Breaking up with Ghana

Now as most of you know, I left Ghana this week. Due to some Peace Corps passport complications and some personal reasons I picked up my life in the middle of the night and left to come back to the United States. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I miss my students and neighbors like crazy. Though I am happy to be coming back, I am sad that I didn't give a real goodbye to anyone. I don't know if I would've ever left if I had had to say goodbye to them though. They made my experience. I'm almost in tears knowing I'll probably never see them again. I hated leaving them because I feel like I have abandoned them somehow, especially without telling them why I had to leave. Now they can add me to the list of people who have abandoned them in their lives. Me, one of the few people they knew they could rely on and I up and left. But it'll be okay, we'll move on and they'll still be as amazing as ever.

I've matured so much over these past 11 weeks. It's weird. So many personality traits that I thought defined who I was, were redefined with a better definition. I think I needed Africa and Ghana, more than it needed me. I needed this experience, I needed what Ghana gave me. Those kids... Florence, Anthony, Emmanuel, Doris Vida, Kwame, Richson, Owusu, Abednego, Danko, Nelson, Victoria and of course my baby Pious they are apart of me now. Severing those ties without saying goodbye or letting them even know that I was leaving broke my heart. I hope they know how much I love them, how much they mean to me, how they changed me, how I'll never be the same because of them, how much they taught me: about life and about myself. I hope one day they'll understand what happened, that leaving was the best thing I could do for myself and it had nothing to do with them.

But honestly, I loved Ghana. My time there was one of the most gratifying experiences I could've ever asked for. From the people to the food, to the sense of reality and culture they have. Ghana is stunning and truly unforgettable. Fiji has big shoes to fill that's for sure. I'm ready to come home though. I'm ready to do all the things I need to do, set the next part of my life in motion, remember to keep what's important to me true. I think if there's one thing I've learned in Ghana it is that when you have a specific passion in life, it takes a hold of you and doesn't let go. Now I'll admit I'm still looking for my niche, the thing that pushes me to the limits and challenges and makes me better and want to wake up in the morning to solve its next great problem but I've never felt so ready, so at peace with the possibilities. Its weird, it makes me want to try a million new things, follow all the dreams and wants I've always wanted to do: get my pilots license, climb a couple mountains, skydive, travel, and never look back. I've definitely remembered that there is no such thing as mistakes, just lessons learned. I've learned about my likes and dislikes, completely even more self aware of what I need to work on and how I can change some of those things. Haha, I've always been so insecure about so many different things and though I'd love to tell you that I am 150% confident in myself, I'm not. But I'm a whole lot more confident in who I am, who I'd like to be, what I need to work on, where my priorities are. I'm not so worried about the future anymore, growing up scares me a million times over still but I'm ready for the adventure. It's crazy what a few months can teach you when you put yourself completely out of your confront zone and push yourself farther than you ever have before. I'm so ready for Fiji, I'm ready for what I'm going to learn, the tactical skills that I've always wanted to know, see places I've only dreamed of being able to go, and finding out my path and where it'll lead me in the future. I'm finally ready for it. I'm still crazy scared, and not sure about anything but I'm confident that I'll make it out the other end being proud of whatever I do. And that's not something I could ever say before.

So in my last post I just want to say thank you Ghana, Volta region, and the people of Jasikan for changing my outlook on life; and reminding me its okay to be weird like me. Thank you for sharing your meals, your language, your beauty and charm with me. I will never forget what you've given me. I wish I could have reciprocated even half of what I've learned and shared even a quarter of what you shared. I'll miss you Ghana.

:) Happy reading everyone and I hope you've had an amazing day.

Signing off for the last time. Ciara.

Ghanaian Food Pictures FINALLY

So here are the foods I've been eating! Def not all of them, but as many as I could take photos of!!

1. Yams with fish stew
2. Milo
3. Fried fish with joloff rice
4. Egg with peppe (yum yum)
5. Plantain chips and yam chips
6. Indomine (just like ramen noodles)
7. Muscles rolled in a peppe spice with peas
8. Chicken meat rolled in spices, on a stick
9. Biscuits with malt beverage
10. Red red (beans) served with chicken and fried plantains
11. Pancakes or crepes
12. FanIce and the other kinds of ice items
13. Cake treat
14. Meat pie
15. Abolo
16. Fufu with groundnut soup and goat!
17. Okra stew
18. Banku with peppe and shito
19. Boxed fruit juice
20. Curry with rice
21. Cassava
22. Water satchet packet
23. Fried plantains

It takes a village to raise a child

Now honestly I'm not too keen on fully admitting I'm bad at something but wow, I make it an art to be as bad as the worst in learning languages. The worst is that there's nothing to go off of for any of these beautiful Ghanaian dialects. No Latin base, no structure to how he words sound out of your mouth, you could just be yawning in a certain pitch and someone could interpret to mean something. And I guess I'm not much help either. I didn't think I'd really need to learn the language after all the breaks Hailey and I sort of got in terms of English understanding here.

But just like that, as soon as hailey left it was as if the whole village decided to raise me as their own. Every morning not one, not two, but several places test me or help me learn the local language lelimay and while it is by far one of he most difficult things I've ever tried to half-ass learn, it's by far the most rewarding and fun and gives me hope that learning the languages in Fiji will be similar. The way the village just cares and takes me as their own is truly the most gratifying experience I could have ever received. As much as my director tends to obstruct the beauty of this country at times, it is the people of this village that shine through a hundred times over. And while they certainly raise every child here in this village together, I've become another one to look after, another child to teach and I can't help but feel more at home here than I have felt in a very long time. There's a true sense of belonging here, especially after my classes.

Today was just any other day here in this beautiful place I now call home, and I did everything I normally do; but maybe today was just that moment where you suddenly realize that once you've made the best out of the situation, you really open yourself to limitless possibilities. Today I talked to my form 1 class all about STI's and sex questions. I love it. I love their laughs, I love their questions and above all I especially love form ones ability to not be embarrassed. It's incredibly rewarding when they open up to you, ask private questions they wouldn't dare ask other adults; and even though I'm clearly an adult by day when I sit with the teachers at the table or laugh with the headmistress I'm obviously on the teachers end... They still find it in them to talk about the questions that eat up their mind about sexual pressure, problems they face, and why things are not good. I can't stop them from having sex, at least the ones that are already in the process, but I can remind them the importance of safety and how to recognize some more altering symptoms. These children are my air, the village my hearth, and their love my support. I can only hope to gain this much of a connection to the people in Fiji in such a short time.

It's hard to understand beauty sometimes because really when all is said and done; whose definition of beauty reigns supreme? Though I'm obviously a heavier girl and the village has no qualms with calling me fat, I have learned a delicate and peaceful appreciation for my "fat". Because here at the times where I'm at my most lonely I remember that I'm ok, this sense of loneliness will pass and with it I will feel a sense of peace within myself because of it. I can't describe the warm energy that fills me while I am here in this village, away from the United States. It's awkward at times, and while I'm still very much myself, I do feel as of I've changed. I'm a little more in touch with my emotions, I think before I speak a little more, I show who I am a little easier without the claws swatting anyone in arms length away. I'm still difficult, I still am clueless to what I am ever really feeling in terms of understanding my emotions in every scenario but I make the ones I do count more often. If there's anything I can say, this village truly has raised this child to a young woman in such a short period of time. Crazy what genuine love and care can do to a person.

Happy reading!! I'll be back soon :)

Pictures!!

So my iPad is pretty cool after all! I finally learned how to post photos!!!